Movie Night
by Queerasil
Summary: John and Sherlock attempt to watch different movies. The results are disastrous and horribly funny.


**THE LION KING**

"But I don't understand –"

"Sherlock, Sherlock –"

"No, John, no. This doesn't make any sense."

"Sherlock, listen to me." John grips his flatmate by the shoulders, damn near shaking the man. "It's a Dinsey movie, Sherlock."

"Singing lions! Singing bloody lions?"

"Sherlock, it's a kid's movie."

"Even kids aren't that stupid."

"Sher – oh." John sighs and gives up.

_Can You Feel the Love Tonight_ is incredibly awkward. Especially when you're sitting on the couch with your flatmate that you're just a tad in love with. The singing lions aren't helping, either.

**SAW**

"This isn't very scary," Sherlock says as a man gets his head sawed in half.

"Lots of sawing, though. As the title implies."

Sherlock nods in agreement, quietly and unemotionally watching someone be cut into lots of little pieces like some kind of odd high-society party dish. John is completely flummoxed by the fact that his flatmate was more disturbed by singing lions that by someone dying horribly. Then again, considering everything Sherlock is, John isn't entirely surprised.

**BYE BYE BIRDIE**

"WHY, John?"

John honestly doesn't know. He supposes he bought the DVD because it was cheap, and just going by the title, John thought the movie was going to be about someone named Birdie being horribly murdered or kidnapped or something fun like that. Certainly not singing teenagers.

John isn't even sorry. "I thought you'd like it."

"You thought I'd like this?" Sherlock secretly does like it. He can do all the dance moves, and he probably will later when he's alone in his room. John doesn't need to know.

"I thought it was going to be violent… Maybe if we keep watching, someone will get murdered." The thing is, John secretly likes it to.

So there they sat, two children trapped in the bodies of fully grown men, pretending to hate something they were completely enjoying.

**ALADDIN **

Sherlock is actually kind of enjoying the movie until the song _A Whole New World _comes on.

Sherlock promptly throws the DVD out the window and makes a joke about showing the disk 'a whole new world'.

John sighs and puts on a rom-com.

**PACIFIC RIM**

John finds out about Sherlock's insane love of robots in the strangest of ways.

"BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND, JOHN –"

It's the goddamn singing lions all over again. "Sherlock, it's just a movie."

"BUT ROBOTS, JOHN."

John puts his head in his hands and sighs. Letting a drugged Sherlock watch a highly improbable movie was probably not the best idea.

"Sherlock, it's not –"

"Don't you DARE say it's not real, John." Sherlock's pupils are huge and he hasn't blinked in at least twenty-seconds. John wonders if he should take Sherlock to the hospital.

_He's probably fine, _John thinks, as Sherlock makes _pew pew _sounds while the Jaeger shoots the Kaiju._I'm sure he's fine. _

Sherlock wonders if him and John would be 'drift-compatible'.

**THE HOBBIT**

Somehow, Sherlock ends up high and watching one of the greatest fantasy movies ever made.

John would be please, absolutely delighted, in fact. If not for the small problem that Sherlock is high and hallucinating he's a dragon.

Sherlock is standing on top of the table, his red dressing gown draped dramatically over his shoulder "COME. DON'T BE SHY. STEP INTO THE LIGHT." Sherlock growls. He actually _growls_. "THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. SOMETHNG YOU CARRY. SOMEONE MADE OF GOLD. BUT FAR MORE _PRECIOUS_."

John is both aroused and disturbed. He attempts to coax his flatmate down from atop the table. "Yes, um… Oh mighty Smaug, the magnificent and amazingly wealthy... Can you come down now?"

"No."

John persists at that particularily disturbing form of flattery for several hours until he can finally get Sherlock to come down from the table. As Sherlock comes down from the high, he snuggles up to John on the couch and mumbles utter nonsense about being 'the dragon'.

The next day, Sherlock accidentally calls John 'Bilbo'.

...

Possibly part 1 of a series? Not sure, but could be fun to continue. Let me know what you think! Written for the LWS Trope Bingo Card 4 prompt 'Movie Night'. Finally got 5 in a row! Bingo!


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